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18 August 2008 @ 12:32 am
VVC vid: Creep (Buffy)  
Vid Title: Creep
Length: 4:01
Fandom: BtVS, AtS
Song/Artist: "Creep" by Radiohead
Summary: I don't belong here. Buffy/Faith, Buffy/Spike

Download the M4V

Premiered at VVC08.

Thanks to aycheb, buffyann, elynross, and obsessive24 for their invaluable beta work on the vid. Banner by the ever-so-special thedothatgirl.

Believe it or not, I heard this song for the first time less than a year ago, and it immediately called to mind images of Spike and Faith in Buffy S7; totally out of place among Buffy's friends and the Slayers In Training, but still sort of chained to Buffy.

On a bigger scale, I started thinking about how Spike's arc and Faith's arc throughout the series were similar, and how both revolved around their relationship with Buffy. That's what I wanted to explore in this vid.

Spike and Faith each seem to know that they represent something dark inside of Buffy - just as she represents the perfection somewhere inside of each them - and in being around Buffy they bring out that darkness in her and sort of lessen and taint her. And yet I don't think either can ever truly leave her while they're alive.

I think in finding a chance to sacrifice themselves in S7 (which seemed to be what both Spike and Faith wanted to do) they both believed they could gain some level of acceptance/forgiveness - if not love - from Buffy and, in the process, remove themselves from her life.

Er, sorry for all the angst.

when you were here before
couldn't look you in the eye
you're just like an angel
your skin makes me cry
you float like a feather
through a beautiful world
i wish i was special
you're so fucking special

but i'm a creep
i'm a weirdo
what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here

i don't care if it hurts
i wanna have control
i want a perfect body
i want a perfect soul
i want you to notice
when i'm not around
you're so fucking special
i wish i was special

but i'm a creep
i'm a weirdo
what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here

she's running out again
she run run run run

whatever makes you happy
whatever you want
you're so fucking special
i wish i was special
but i'm a creep
i'm a weirdo
what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here
i don't belong here

Hope you enjoy the vid. Please share your thoughts.
Tags: ,
Dayln: btvs; she alone will stand against thegigglemonster on August 17th, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
Wooow two awesome vids in one day!
This is such a perfect song choice - in fact, i put it on a buffy/spike mix i made a little while ago :) It definitely sums up that need for acceptance from Buffy.
I really love the repeated use of the fire and water for those two, very nifty. The editing is flawless, as usual, and everything just flows so beautifully.
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
You're the second person I've talked to who had this song on a Buffy mix. That's so cool! I looked up the song on wiki and the singer was saying it was about a guy who's obsessively stalking a girl, so... yeah, pretty much.

Thanks for the lovely comments about the vid.
Charmax: Torchwood Team Clapcharmax on August 17th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC)
I love this song and the theme you construct around it. Well thought out comparisons throughout I especially love the way you associated Faith with water and Spike with fire and how both elements pull Buffy in. I particularly loved the section where we get to see Buffy's isolation and exclusion.

Awesome vid, Brad.
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
Oh man, charmax, I wish you could have been here with us. We were all talking about you. So that made it extra nice to see your fb pop up right away. It was almost like you were there. We still missed you, though. :)

Glad you thought the water and fire themes worked. I was hoping they'd help clarify pov, serve as a thematic device, and just generally look purty.

*hug* Thanks, you. Have I told you lately how awesome you are?
(no subject) - charmax on August 19th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
jaesha: pic#63726376jaesha on August 17th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
I've never commented on your vids before, but I'm here to tell you that I love your work. Some of the best vid work I've seen actually. Not that I'm an expert, mind you, I just know what I like.

It's strange that this song keeps popping up everywhere I look, too.

Oh, yes, the vid itself. I tend to ramble, many apologies. I think you accomplished exactly what your comments mentioned. The relationship between Buffy and Faith and Buffy and Spike definitely paralleled each other throughout the show and the particular imagery/clips you used showcased that well.

I thought the use of the fire, water and night sky brought a lot of depth to it. And of course, the musical timing was brilliant.

Eh, all you really need to know is that I loved it. : - D

Edited at 2008-08-17 06:29 am (UTC)
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 01:44 pm (UTC)
God I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading this - not just your reaction but the way you were moved to post it. I can't imagine anything more fulfilling as a vidder than for someone to be able to connect with the vids in a personal way like this. And you say it in such a lovely way. Thank you.

The song was featured on Rock Band recently, and then on Radiohead's new greatest hits collection, which is probably why it's getting so much new attention.

Also, I just wanted to point out the fact that your icon wins at life.
kiki_miserychickiki_miserychic on August 17th, 2008 06:55 am (UTC)
you're so fucking special
Well shit. That was good. The structure is amazing. With the Faith and Spike sections, Buffy is set up as this perfect being floating above everyone with her awesomeness. Then the Buffy section brings it all back down and shows that she's just as fucked up, if not more than Faith and Spike. It's almost like the three of them have a weird cycle of feeding off each other, in good and bad ways. I really can't get over how the punch of the Buffy section is set up. The Buffy section is nearly a revelation.

I lovelovelove the i want a perfect body / i want a perfect soul lines because it feel like the exact reason.
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Re: you're so fucking special
=) Thanks, you.

I do think Buffy is fucked up, and that the other two don't really see that side of her (or *want* to see it), but in trying to love her they bring it out even more.

It's almost like the three of them have a weird cycle of feeding off each other, in good and bad ways

That's a great way of putting it.

I especially love that you pointed out the perfect body/soul line. :) Really glad you liked this one. I was so emotionally invested in it, there was this big fear of rejection.
Re: you're so fucking special - kiki_miserychic on August 18th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
barbarismbegins on August 17th, 2008 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh, this was SO awesome. I was totally not expecting the Buffy section to come around and when it did it was like a punch in the gut. I have to say probably my favorite image is the very end: Faith out of focus and blurry in Buffy's life. The whole thing is amazing, though (of course). Congrats on a FANTASTIC vid.
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 02:18 pm (UTC)
Wow, thanks so much for saying this! You pretty much picked out the two moments that I most wanted to come across well - the Buffy transition and Faith at the end. Really really glad you enjoyed it.
(Deleted comment)
bradcpubradcpu on August 18th, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
I guess angst is OK in (relatively) small doses. :)

Thanks so much for the comments about the look and overlays in addition to the narrative. I suck at stuff like that so I just tinkered with it forever until it felt right to me.

We all bring our own unique voices and perspectives to stories like this, so I'm sure yours was well worth the telling.
(Deleted comment)
pilihalliwell: Ten/Hannahpilihalliwell on August 17th, 2008 12:31 pm (UTC)
I loved the video, it was amazingly done and then the song was perfect.
bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:28 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. It's wonderful to hear that it clicked for you like that.
aychebaycheb on August 17th, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC)
This vid is just so fucking beautiful and that switch to Buffy punching her way out of the grave still shocks.
bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
I wish you could have been at the con with us when it showed. Can't really thank you enough for your part in it.
Ambassador Dummy Dummy Dumb Dumscrickets on August 17th, 2008 01:47 pm (UTC)
you're so fuckin' special
Jaw on floor. I'm just blown away by this. The parallels you draw between their issues with Buffy are really strong. I never thought about the two of them in quite this way before. But it makes perfect sense now, of course. And the editing is just out of this word. I thought to myself several times, "Now that is just SO COOL."
bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
Re: you're so fuckin' special
Yay! It's awesome to read that it made you think about the characters in a new way. They've been around so long and been vidded so often (and so well)... plus so many people already make some other connection to this song, so I was big with the nervous. I really appreciate it.
Daniellerae1013 on August 17th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
That has win written all over it. Visually stunning with the overlays and constant motion that made me feel like I was in a tailspin of angst.

The story itself is stunningly spectacular with a fierce emotional resonance. My stomach is still recovering from the jolt of it.

bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:35 am (UTC)
Wow, I love the phrase "tailspin of angst." :) I should put that on tshirts or business cards or something.

Seriously, I deeply appreciate your compliments here. It's an enormously overwhelming feeling when your vid reaches across the screen and makes a *connection* with the viewer like this. Thank you so much for telling me so.
(no subject) - rae1013 on August 19th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Zohar: kiss ned/chuckbunnythenavia on August 17th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
I suck at constructive critique, but I want you to know how much I love this vid.

bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks so much Zohar! :)
Kitty: echo_gunwinterevanesce on August 17th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
Oh that was fantastic! I love your editing! Great use of clips, seriously. The storyline is brilliant. I had never thought of that before between both Faith and Spike. Amazing job! I <3 this!

Also, I know by now that it's impossible to not love a brad vid :-D
bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:39 am (UTC)
I know by now that it's impossible to not love a brad vid

I have it on pretty good authority that it's possible to not love my vids. :) But if *you* love them, that's all that matters.

It's so amazing to see you say it shows you the characters in a new way. That's kind of my ultimate goal as a vidder, you know? So I really appreciate that.
counteragentcounteragent on August 18th, 2008 04:43 am (UTC)
Gosh, but this was awesome.

I don't know how you do it, but you continue to make this source feel like something I've never seen before. And sooooo beautiful, too.

My favorite part was the gorgeous shining up close shots of Buffy's smiling face. They just glowed and I really felt Spike and Faith's longing to be with that light.

And I mean it; I'd beta for you anytime (although you have teh awesome betas already).
bradcpubradcpu on August 19th, 2008 05:44 am (UTC)
Aw, I miss your shoes!

*HUG* You're so friggin awesome. Even more awesome than I ever imagined... and I imagined quite a lot of awesome. You'd better believe I'm going to call on you to beta, missy. No takesies backsies.

I'm just loving that the vid makes the source feel new to you in a way. That's just beyond cool. I really hope I can keep doing that.

My favorite part was the gorgeous shining up close shots of Buffy's smiling face. They just glowed and I really felt Spike and Faith's longing to be with that light.
Wow, you say it much better than I can!

Oh yes there will be betas.
(no subject) - counteragent on August 19th, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Faith darkbop_radar on August 19th, 2008 10:04 am (UTC)
I heard this song for the first time less than a year ago
WHAT?! *reels* Wow. I think I've been listening to this song all my life... (or it feels like it!) It's such an anthem. I've imagined vidding just about every jaded, disenfranchised character you can think of to it--Faith and Spike included, naturlich. So I was not surprised at all by your choice, but I am very surprised it was such a recent impulse! (And also that noone's done it before now that I know of.)

It was very cool to see it done at last and it had such a lovely familiar feeling for me, which probably sounds odd. I mean that I was nodding along through the first viewing thinking 'yup, that's right--this is exactly the right note/image/point here'. Like the shot of Buffy 'floating like a feather' in the training room and then surrounded by her perfect friends. This is the feeling that I think made me connect most with Spike and Faith in the Buffyverse--this sense of being on the outside looking in, never being the 'special' one.

1.04 I love those little sparks of violence on the beats--Spike and Faith lashing out.
1.08 Love the shot of Spike shaking his game face: revelling in his nature as 'other' (because there IS something very self-indulgent about this song)
1.17 Love the 'what the hell am I doing here?' images. That line always makes me LOL and it's so EXACTLY how Spike and Faith felt around the Scoobies.
2.12 This is where the vid really surprised me. It was all wonderful, but I hadn't expected you to take it to Buffy's perspective and show how she is *herself* the 'Creep'. I'm glad you did. It really lifted here.
2.30 I got SO EXCITED here, because you telegraphed you were going to use Buffy jumping off the tower on the big high note in this sequence and i thought 'omg that is so perfect whydidineverthinkofthat?!' and then you DID. :D On a personal level this works so well for me because that's my favourite moment in the track (well it IS the highpoint!) and it is also the point in the entire series when I loved the show the most.
2:58 Also much love for the dance footage, in theme with Buffy herself running away from her identity as the 'perfect one'.
When we come down from that crescendo, we're back in Faith's and Spike's perspective, which feels right because we've come back down 'to Earth'.

Love the water and fire--very cool touch that adds a lot of depth to the imagery.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
Wow. I think I've been listening to this song all my life
Yeah, see when I told Nicky about the idea she said the song has been around (and popular) for so long that people will already have their own memories and things associated with it, so that was going to make it extra-hard to break through that and connect it to what I'm saying instead. But, hey, no matter what project you pick there are always going to be challenges, and the idea seemed like one that *could* work, you know?

That makes it enormously rewarding to read this:
it had such a lovely familiar feeling for me
=) *hug* That's so awesome because it means it all connected properly for you. That's just.... the greatest feeling for me. :)

The lyric ties in the choruses and the pov switch were the two key parts, and those are the two things that seemed to resonate best with you. That's a huge yay!

This is what I love most about being a vidder: When I'm able to express something through a vid and have it connect with another fan of a show like this. It's just so fulfilling.
(no subject) - bop_radar on August 21st, 2008 03:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bradcpu on August 22nd, 2008 04:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
Tali: karaaworldinside on August 19th, 2008 10:10 am (UTC)
I've never really thought about Spike and Faith's arcs mirroring each other's like that, but they totally do and you brought that across very well in that vid. I also really liked the transition into Buffy's section and the blurry image of Faith at the end. Very well done. :D

I really feel like watching some Buffy now.

Also, I just read the comment above about Buffy's smiling face and would just like to second what they said, those shots worked really well.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
I think I only started thinking about the similarities between Spike and Faith's relationship with Buffy because when I started watching the show, B/F and B/S shippers were constantly fighting. I was like "It's the same ship!"

I really feel like watching some Buffy now.
Now *there's* a compliment! Thanks so much for checking it out. :)
Anne-Elisa: subtextetrangere on August 19th, 2008 01:11 pm (UTC)
that works great, love the parallels!
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
giandujakissgiandujakiss on August 19th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I love the storyline on this - the whole structure is just wonderful. And your overlays - like making Faith look underwater - were spectacular. And the final shot was just perfect!! Beautiful work.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)
Thanks so much about the overlays. It was just a matter of spending forever tinkering until it seemed to look "right." It's also reassuring to hear that the storyline came across properly for you. So many potential pitfalls!
D: CW rps: CMM smiledenyce on August 19th, 2008 04:46 pm (UTC)
WOW!! Very awesome, you really blew me away ;)
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:32 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Really glad you liked it.
Luzulaluzula on August 19th, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
Oh, cool. I liked this even though I haven't watched Buffy. I'm sure I'm missing a lot of it, though.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
Wow! That's awesome that you were able to enjoy it even though you haven't seen the show, especially with something so context-heavy. I really appreciate you watching it anyway and letting me know!
hoolia goolia: AtS - Angel's animated clapping spaz danboom_queen on August 19th, 2008 11:34 pm (UTC)
This vid is just about flawless. The beatwork and pacing are just perfect. The build-up of the narrative is so emotional that I actually got goosebumps at several well-timed moments. And I love the comparisons drawn between both Faith and Spike's relationships to Buffy, as well as her own issues too.

Sheer awesomeness.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
That's some seriously humbling stuff to read. "Flawless" or not, I'm just glad it came through well for you. Goosebumps mean a lot more to me. :) But I am deeply, deeply flattered by the compliments about narrative and pacing. Thank you.
Leviathan: BtVS Faithleviathan101 on August 20th, 2008 07:46 am (UTC)
Wow Brad this was beautiful. I've never heard the song before but it's perfect for the parallels of both Faith and Spike. And I'm fascinated to read your thoughts on how they relate to Buffy. Being a new fan, I haven't gotten there yet. Anyway, the flow and cohesiveness of this is very, very pretty. I specifically really liked Buffy's bit from 2:08 - 3:00, but everything leading up to it with Spike and Faith interspersed was pretty damn awesome too. All of the overlays make this beautiful work. Awesome! I'll be watching this a few dozen times, I'm sure. :)

I still have a few other videos of yours that I need to watch, and will get to them.
bradcpubradcpu on August 21st, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
Hey, you watched it! I'm so glad you weren't disappointed. I had made my Spike statement with Bullet, then my Faith statement with Living Dead Girl, so this was more about the end of the show and Buffy's role in who they are (and vice-versa). I wanted it to feel sort of S7 (or later) and nostalgic... more of a "looking back" kind of vid.

See, already I'm rambling. My point: Squee! You watched it! And didn't hate it! :)
andashes: life on marsjonesandashes on August 21st, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
Love the song, first of all. The parallels you've drawn between Faith and Spike are well done, and although they are two of my favourite characters in the series, it's the switch to Buffy's pov that makes the vid for me. The series of clips during the 'she's running out again' portion of the song are particularly lovely; the way you kept coming back to the scene where Buffy's diving into certain, swirly death has stuck in my mind. And the editing throughout is excellent, very sharp, as always. Thanks for sharing!
bradcpubradcpu on August 22nd, 2008 04:50 am (UTC)
I think it can be a double-edged sword using a song that has been so popular for so long - people have high expectations (or at least *specific* expectations) about what should be done with it in vid form. So it's really reassuring that it worked for you in that way.

I don't think the vid would have gotten made if I hadn't put in the Buffy POV switch and the "diving in" to Faith and Spike's darkness. That was what attracted me to the project. Glad you liked it!
V.aurora_84 on August 21st, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
Oh, that was just amazing!!
bradcpubradcpu on August 22nd, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
Thank you for saying so. :)
black_eyedgirlblack_eyedgirl on August 22nd, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Hey, I recced this at my journal here, and decided the polite thing was possibly to come tell you that I'd done it, rather than just DLing and running...
bradcpubradcpu on August 22nd, 2008 05:01 am (UTC)
Take and run! As long as you enjoy the vid.

... And I've just read what you wrote in your LJ and am incredibly flattered. Thank you so much, seriously.
treadingthedarktreadingthedark on August 22nd, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)
This was just brilliant. Really haunting and beautiful. Moving.
bradcpubradcpu on August 22nd, 2008 05:01 am (UTC)
Wow, what a wonderful thing to say. Thank you.